Paint Me A Heart
by BrucasLinserideLove
Summary: Summary: Erin regret's her night with Jay...LINSERIDE!


Summary: Erin regret's her night with Jay….LINSERIDE!

Thank you sandygirl for the idea xo

I am working on updates for my other stories, i promise! When i was told this idea i kind of ran with it, so i hope you guys all like it :)

* * *

Erin woke up feeling slightly disoriented; opening her eyes she realized she wasn't at her apartment. The events of last night quickly came flowing back and she realized she was at Jay's. Feeling around for him in the bed, she found it empty. She knew he had to be there, it was his place.

Getting up she found him in the kitchen, he had made breakfast and was sitting at the table. Smiling she walked toward him and took a seat. He leaned forward and kissed her, then put a plate of food in front of her. "I figured after last night you'd need to seriously refuel, I know I did," Jay commented sitting down across from her at his table. She smiled and nodded, not really knowing what to say. She wasn't feeling as comfortable here as she usually did and defiantly not as comfortable as she was last night; she was glad she decided to put her clothes on.

Halstead was talking about what the cases the team was working on and maybe if he got a free minute they could meet for lunch or something. That was when she started to feel it, the uneasiness, the feeling that things weren't right, things had changed. This was different, different than she thought it would be. He was her partner. They weren't on the same squad anymore, but still, that's how she had always seen him. So what had changed? Did she actually feel something for him or was it her desire to feel wanted that over powered her to come here. She hated her new job and had a rough day, blowing off some steam sounded great, it was what she needed. So she came to the one person she knew would never turn her down.

The more she thought about it, the worse she felt. It wasn't right. This whole thing. She felt like she hadn't only played him, she had played herself. He went to reach for her hand, but she quickly pulled it away and dropped her fork. "I think I should probably go, long day with the force. I have to go home, shower, and get ready," she said standing up and grabbing her jacket.

Getting up he followed behind, "are you sure, I mean you could shower here," he smiled, a clear undertone present in his words.

"I'm sure, I gotta go, I'll call you later." And with that she was out the door, leaving a confused Jay Halstead standing there, running a hand through his hair.

* * *

After another long day with the task force and hating almost every minute of it, Erin decided to head to Molly's to blow off steam. She couldn't take another night like last night where she would feel nothing but regret about it all day. She had been dodging calls from her ex-partner, not able to face him right now.

Walking up to the bar she ordered a drink, that's when she heard him. His laugh sounded from a few tables down and her heart started pounding faster. She didn't know if it was because of him or because she was nervous about seeing him. It had been almost two months since they talked and although she'd never admit it, she missed him. She missed his laugh, his smile; she missed comforting him and sharing stories. They were two of a kind. Lost in thoughts she didn't even realize he was walking towards where she was at the bar until it was too late.

She didn't think he saw her, but she wasn't sure; stuck in that awkward place to say something or pretend she didn't see him. The look on his face said he had seen her. He was happy to see Erin sitting there, a little nervous but also excited. He hated the way they had left things, but there had been so much going on in his life he hadn't dealt with it.

"Hi," he said a little unsure if he should say anything at all.

"Hey," Erin said back unable to stop the smile from forming on her lips.

"How have you been?"

"Good, ya know the usual?"

"Yeah. Yeah," he said nodding. There was a small silence between the two and he saw the smile fade, he knew something was up with her. "Let me buy you a drink." Seeing her nod he got Gabby's attention and ordered two beers.

"So how are things over at CPD?" he asked handing her her drink.

"I wouldn't really know. I got a job offer working for a Federal Task Force, I took it," she answered sipping her beer.

"Wow, congratulations, that's big," he said unable to hide his proud smile. "That deserves more than a beer."

"Thanks, but after a few days on the job I'm rethinking it, it's not what I thought it would be," Lindsay answered finishing off her drink.

"You wanna talk about it?" Kelly asked getting her another beer.

"Maybe later. I came here to get away from my problems, not talk about them."

"In that case, cheers!" he said hand her another beer and chugging down his.

The two of them spent a few hours at the bar, talking, laughing, drinking, just blowing off steam and having fun. They had both forgotten how good it was to be in each others presence. To just relax for a night and lose yourself with someone else.

* * *

Erin woke up the next morning not knowing where she was, she remembered coming home and sobering up….with Kelly. She looked around realized she wasn't at her place. She was in Kelly's bed, at Casey's. Sitting up she saw he wasn't in the room and she was fully dressed. The events of last night flooding back.

_Kelly invited Erin back to his and Matt's apartment when Molly's was closing. It was late, but he knew she needed to talk. After all the times she was there for him, he wanted to be there for her, he needed to be. _

_When they got up stairs, he opted for water bottles instead of beer thinking they should probably sober up. Erin sitting at the counter, Severide handed her a water and sat next to her, "you ready to talk?"_

_"Not much to say."_

_"Erin, you were there for me when I needed to talk, when I needed a friend. Let me be there for you."_

_Taking a deep breath she looked up at him, his blue-green eyes staring at her. "This task force, it's been a pretty rough ride so far. My boss goes back on his word, doesn't keep me informed, I just, I don't think I like the way things are being run. I come from a family unit, we all work together, we trust each other. But this fed job? It's nothing like that." He reached over taking her hand in his for comfort; she accepted it and squeezed it as a thank you. "It's an amazing opportunity, any cop would be happy with this job, I just don't know if it's for me."_

_He nodded understanding where she was coming from, they always seemed to understand what the other meant without to much digging. "Look nobody's gonna judge you if you decide it's not a fit, don't stay and torture yourself just to prove something. I'm sure Voight would be happy to have you back at CPD."_

_She gave a sad smile and nodded, she knew he was right. "I'm gonna try to wait it out, maybe I just need to into the groove of things, but I'll talk to Hank….What about things with you? How have you been with everything?"_

_"Good," he answered honestly, for the first time in a long time he was good, he was dealing with things the right way and not running anymore. "It's still hard, I miss her everyday, but I know if she saw the way I was acting she'd probably slap me. Erin, I'm sorry for the way I left things with us, I never…" _

_"Hey, I understand ok, we don't have to go there," she said cutting him off, "I know you were going through a lot. Whatever you needed to do to get where you are now was for you."_

_He smiled and leaned in knowing he was taking a risk, he just couldn't take it anymore. The more he was around her; the more he wanted to kiss her again. But as he got closer to her lips, she pulled away and he stopped, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have," he said taking his hand out of hers. _

_"No, look Kelly I just wouldn't feel right doing this if I didn't tell you…I slept with Jay," there she said it, it was out. He was the first and only person she told and probably would ever tell. _

_His smile completely gone from his face, feeling disappointment and a pang of jealousy hit him. "So are you guys like a…"_

_"No," Erin answered, maybe a little too quickly. "It was a one time thing, I had a rough day and went over to blow off some steam and we kind of got carried away. When I woke up things were fine, it was nice at first, but the more time I spent there and thinking about us it was just weird. I spent most of today wishing I had never even gone over, he's my partner or he was, there's no going back."_

_"We all make mistakes, I sure as hell did. I think I became the king of bad decision making after Shay. You'll figure it out."_

_"Thanks Kelly. For tonight, for listening, for forcing me to talk," she reached for his hand, missing his comforting touch. Instead of taking her hand, he pulled her in for a hug. She breathed him in as her head hit his chest. This felt right, it didn't feel like she was hiding, it felt like this is where she belonged. _

_"Come on, why don't you crash here tonight, you've had a long day. You can take my bed, I'll take the couch," he said as she pulled away slowly. "Here, you can wear this stuff if you want." He handed her a fifty one sweat shirt and a pair of his sweat pants to change into and showed her to his room. "The sheets are clean, I promise."_

_"You sure about this?" Lindsay asked not wanting him to feel weird about her staying at his place. _

_"I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't sure, get some sleep."_

_"Thank you," she said as he started to leave the room. "Kelly," Erin called, stopping him, she walked toward him. Leaning up she placed a soft kiss on his lips. It was short and sweet, but it was enough to completely warm them both. _

Still sitting in the bed, she smiled at the memory. He was a perfect gentleman all night and cared more about how she was feeling then getting her into his bed. Although he kind of had, just without him in it too.

Stretching, she finally decided to get out of bed. Opening the bedroom door, she smiled at the sight of Kelly on the couch. He was lounged back watching tv in a pair of sweats. Hearing the door click, he turned to look at her, "Hey sleepy head, how'd you sleep?"

"Good," she replied walking toward the couch, taking a seat next to him, "thanks again Kel, I…"

"Stop thanking me. You hungry? I was gonna go out and grab something, but all my clothes are in my room and I didn't wanna wake you. You wanna go to the diner on the corner grab breakfast?"

"Yeah, sounds good to me. Are you on shift today?" She asked as he walked into the bedroom to grab a shirt and his shoes.

"Not till later," he answered coming back out, putting the shirt over his head. "You work today?"

"They'll probably call me with something later," he nodded listening to Erin as she also put her shoes on. Then the two headed out of the apartment, on their way to get breakfast.

* * *

When Kelly went in to work, Erin decided to head home to get a shower and change into her own clothes. Although after she was nice and clean she slipped Kelly's sweatshirt back on. It was soft and smelled like him.

Hearing a knock at the door, she got up. Hoping it was the fireman she had just spent the better part of the last twenty four hours with. She knew that wasn't likely since he was now on shift, but a girl could hope. Opening the door she didn't find her fireman, but her partner.

"Hey, I've been calling you, everything ok?" Jay asked walking in and leaning on her counter.

"I'm fine, I just…" He leaned into kiss her, cutting off her words, but she pulled away. "Look Jay, I just I don't feel right about this."

"What are you talking about? You were fine the other night," he said trying to keep the anger out of his voice.

"You're right, but I don't think that's a step we should have taken. We're friends, we're partners and that relationship means so much to me," Erin said trying to explain.

"Were partners, we don't work together anymore," he said trying to remind her that this was a good thing, that they were good.

"That's not the point. Just after the other night it all made more sense that we should just keep things professional. I know we already crossed that line, but…"

"But? Are you serious?" He asked then looked down to see the sweatshirt she's wearing, "Is this about the fireman?"

"No, it's not about him."

"Were you with him last night?" He asked sounding more angry than he wanted to, clearly jealous.

"What if was? You're not my boyfriend Jay. I care about you, I do, but as a friend and im sorry I took things further, I wish I could take it back, but I can't."

"I don't believe this," and with that he was out the door.

She stood there for a minute just staring at the door. She didn't expect the talk with Jay to go well, but she didn't expect him to act like that.

* * *

After a few days and a long talk with Voight, Erin was officially back with Intelligence. She was happily welcomed back with open arms and smiling faces from everyone, everyone but her partner. If they were going to work together they had to be professional, that wasn't a question, it was a fact. She followed him into the break room when she saw he went her for coffee, wanting to sort this out sooner rather than later.

"We need to talk."

"Pretty sure you said everything you needed to the other day," he answered turning away from her.

"Look I'm sorry I led you on, I'm sorry I hurt you, ok? I'm sorry about everything, but you don't own me. You can't tell me who I can and can't hang out with or see. Jay I care about you, you're one of the best friends I have, I don't want to lose that because of a mistake."

He took in a breath and sighed, "You're right. I shouldn't have made assumptions, I just, I like you, I have for a while and I thought we were finally getting our chance."

Patting on his arm she smiled, "I'm sorry. But we are still partners, come on you know you missed me around here," she joked trying to break the tension.

He nodded, finally letting go of the resentment he held over the last few days, "It's good to have you back Lindsay."

* * *

It had been a long day of chasing bad guys around the city of Chicago, but she couldn't lie it felt so good being back with her old squad. She had just gotten home and showered, slipping on the fifty one sweatshirt, the sweatshirt she had worn every night since she took it from Kelly. There was a knock at her door, opening it she smiled seeing Kelly. "Hey," he said walking in placing a quick peck on her lips, "I wanted to check in and I brought ice cream."

"You are amazing," she laughed, "good timing, I actually just got home."

The couple walked toward the couch, Erin grabbing two spoons for them to eat the ice cream. "How was your first day back?"

"It was good," she replied taking a bite, putting her legs over his on the couch. "I talked to Jay, things will probably still be weird for a little while, but he's not mad anymore."

"That's good, you seem a lot happier today then you were the other day coming home from the feds. I'm glad you're back at Intelligence."

"We're a family," she said with a shrug, "it just feels right."

"Yeah, that's how we are at fifty one, a big family."

She nodded, "Oh, how was Shay's memorial? I'm sure that wasn't easy."

"It wasn't, but it was nice. It kind of feels like a weight has been lifted, we've all finally had the chance to really deal with this as a unit."

Resting her head on his shoulder, she ran a hand down his chest. "We're gonna be ok right?"

That was a loaded question; it had a lot of meanings and a lot of possible answers. Turning he put his arm around her, pulling her closer, looking down into her green eyes, "we'll figure it all out."He said with a smile and wink, causing a happy sigh to escape Erin's lips. They'r figure it out and they'd figure it out together. No matter what problems were thrown their way, they each promised themselves they'd be there for each other.

* * *

Ok, I was fueled to write this even more while the new CPD episode was on lol I hope you guys enjoyed this, would love your feedback as always :) xo


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